YuGiOh! Wines and Spirits
by shadow of the doubt
Summary: My first attempt at a humor fic so please go easy on me okay? Anyway it's about what would have if Yami, Bakura and a few others go nuts and the gang has to find out why...
1. The crazyness begins

**Note:** Sorry this is so short but this is my first attempt at a humor fanfiction and I didn't know if anyone would like it. If you do like it then review and I'll update. (P.S-I not slamming any particular character, I just wrote this and my best friend Jadu Skia said I should post it so I did. It was supposed to be funny but I guess it's up to you (the reader) to decide.)

Disclaimer: I don'y own Yu-Gi-Oh! or related characters. Also I don't own the song 'Stacie's Mom'.

I do own: the 'Sock Song' and 'Drunken Jiggle Bells' so don't copy without permission! Also Mikey Jason was a chara from one of my friends' stories. He was suppose to Michel Jackson's younger twin and was very funny. Too bad it can't be posted, but the guidelines of the site won't allow it.

Yu-Gi-Oh! Wines and Spirits

Yugi rushed to answer the doorbell, which was ringing noisily. He opened it to reveal Joey, Tea and Tristan.

"OMG guys, I can't believe you're finally here!! I think Yami's finally lost it!!"

Joey raised an eyebrow and asked,

"Just whatta mean lost it??" A loud crash came echoing through the store as if to answer his question. Just then Yami appeared in a Care-bears T-shirt, pink boxers and stocking feet dancing with a coat hanger while singing,

"_Stacie, baby can't you see_

_You're just not the girl for me_

_I know it might be wrong_

_But I'm in love with Stacie's mom_!!" Then he bowed and ran around singing,

"_My socks are cool_

_My socks are blaze_

_I eat them too_

_They put me in this daze_."

"Oh my word…is Yami really singing about eating his socks…" Tea asked. Then Yami turned around with a Hanes tube sock sticking half-way out of his mouth. He smiled stupidly and slurped the sock like spaghetti. He gulped and rubbed his stomach happily. Then he proceeded to grab and hand full of sugar from the candy jar…

"No Yami don't do it, you're already messed up enough, you don't need sugar."

Crunch, slurp, lick and it was gone. Then Yami's eyes got all huge and had big hearts in them and he said in a cutesy voice,

"I love you, give me a hug…"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHh," The four friends screamed and ran to Bakura's house to see if Ryou was home and could hide them from Yami. But when Ryou answered the door he looked exhausted. He was about to ask what they wanted when a loud Clisssshhhhhh cut through the air as Bakura crashed through the front window in a 'Blues Clues' costume riding on a broom. He yelled/singed,

"_Mops are beautiful because their soapy, you're welcome_." Ryou sighed and explained,

"He was fine last night, well as fine as Bakura always is anyway. He woke me up this morning just to ask me where the mop was and told me that he was going to stalk it. Okay, that's weird beyond all reason…" The group turned to see Bakura whispering in the mops 'ear'. Ryou shook his head,

"He confiding to it," then in a whisper he said, "Bakura thinks it's Mikey Jason and he wanted to date it."

Then Yami ran up and foot-ball tackled Ryou to the ground and grabbed his socks and ran down the drive-way to where Bakura was trying to fly like 'Harry Potter' on his mop. Yami proceeded to eat the socks and stood staring a Bakura and his 'Michel mop'.

"Whoa, what hit me?? Ryou asked.

"Yami did…and he stole your socks…" Tristan answered. Bakura looked down at his bare feet and asked,

"Dare I ask what he wanted them for??" Yugi answered,

"He…uhh…he ate them…and mine…and his…" Ryou looked at him with a 'and I thought Bakura was acting weird' look.

All the sudden a big black limo pulled up and out stepped Pegasus in a pink to-to and his silver white hair was done up in and afro. As soon as he got out he started singing,

"_Dashing to the bar_

_In my limousine_

_Taking spirits far_

_With my Ice Cream_

_MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!_

_Spirit with sexy mop _

_A one with the Hanes_

_We're all goin a riddin'_

_In a one gay open plane_

_Magic spells, Seto smells_

_Bakura is so gay_

_This whole deal _

_Is surreal_

_That's what I gotta say, Hey_!"

"Oh-no, not Pegasus ta…dis is becoming really scary all the suddin'," Joey said slowly backing away from the three insane guys.

"Hey I just realized, this weird craziness seems to only be affecting the spirits and Pegasus…I wonder if it affected Ishizu, Marik or Seto?"

"There's only one way to find out…I think…if we can stand it we should go see if Kaiba burned down Kaiba Corp. yet…"


	2. Crisis at Kaiba Corp

Me: Hey we're back for another fun filled crazy chapter... oh and you might want to hide your socks duringthis storyif you value them.

Yami: Why would people want to hide theirs socks while readingthe story??

Me: ...'cause youmight eat them, that's why!

Yami: Ooooohh, that's why...Hey wait a minute! I'd What?!?!?!

Me:Enjoy the story and B/T/W'Seto'sRap' is copyright tome...and...

Yami: enters glaring atShadow with a2by4 in hand

Me: Uh...got to away with angeryYami chasingclose behind

Disclaimer: I don't Yu-Gi-Oh or Jack Sparrow or Telatubbies, I do own 'Seto's Rap' so don't copy without permission!

* * *

"CHEESE, MUST HAVE CHEESE!!" Seto ran around the office screaming. Mokuba Kaiba sat at Seto's desk taking calls and trying to get some work done. Seto stopped to pick his nose and then ran up to the front of the desk and said in a hyper type voice, while jumping up and down,

"Mokey, Mokey! Can we please go to Telatubbies on Ice please, pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase can we go??"

Mokuba looked up at his seeming high older brother in wonder and confusion before replying,

"What's gotten in to you Seto, you've **NEVER** liked Telatubbies and I've never seen you this hyper."

"Weeeeeeeeeeellllllllllll, I was just feelin' gooooouuuuud today so there. Humph, I think I'll go take a shower, you're no fun." Seto then walked over to the window opened it, jumped out and grabbed the flag pole and slide down 12 stories to the ground. All the while grumbling,

"Mean Mokuba….won't even watch Telatubbies with me…"

Mokuba just put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples, he sighed and said,

"I never thought I'd say it, but I wish Seto was his cold, cranky, serious self."

Meanwhile back with the gang they were walking down the street-except Bakura who was trying to ride like a witch on his 'Mikey Jason' mop. Finally they reached Kaiba Corp. It had only taken **six** days to walk across town all because Yami kept harassing people and stealing their socks, which of course he ate. And everybody had since stopped talking/listening to Pegasus because ever since he stopped sing 'Drunken Jingle Bells' he had been having an increasingly scary conversation with himself about pine cones and the wonders of corn.

Suddenly Yami screamed,

"Jack Sparrow snorted a goldfish and it's tail was hanging out of his nose." Tristan raised an eyebrow and said,

"OOOOOOkay that was random." While he said that Bakura was thinking about how much fun it would be to pick Jack Sparrow's nose. At the same time Pegasus sang,

"_If I only had a nose_…" Joey looked at him and replied hesitantly,

"Uh, Pegasus, ya do have a nose." Pegs replied,

"No I didn't, stop accusing me,"

"Accushing himsh of wha?" asked Yami who turned around with a bright pink tooth brush in his mouth. It was Yugi's turn to raise an eyebrow,

"Uh, Yami where did you get that tooth brush??" Yami stroked his chin and took a 'thinking' pose, an hour later he answered,

"I have absolutely no idea what we were talking about." The others except Bakura and Pegs do anime fall. Then got up with large sweat drops on the sides of their faces.

"Oh my Ra there's something attacking your face!!" Bakura, who had his face, shirt and hair soaked with water yelled.

"Why are you wet??" Bakura looked down at his soaked shirt and said,

"Yo-man I'm wet now how did that happen??" Wide eyes and small mouths on the non-crazy members of the gang, Tea was the first to speak,

"You mean you don't know??" Bakura answered,

"I was just looking for my Dory in me Goldfish, and there isn't gonna be no way to find it." Yugi looked at Yami and asked,

"I'm almost afraid to ask this but do you have any idea what he just said??" Yami nodded and then replied,

"He said he found Nemo hanging by his mouth from a kite in Ocean City, New Jersey. Honestly do you understand English mon??"

While all that was going on Kaiba was at home in his mansion taking a shower, while wearing an Elvis Presley white leather outfit. After awhile he pulled out his cell phone (while still in the shower) and began to rap,

"_Mirror, Mirror on the wall_

_Who's the person I should call_

_1, 2, 3. I gotta get me_

_A girl, a girl_

_One who'll rock my world_

_It's cool_

'_cause tomorrow I'm stayin' after school_

_I hear the dial tone_

'_cause I'm talking on the phone_

_I can't keep missing_

_I'm persisting_

_I will be meeting_

_Not retreating_

_I'm willin' to take a chance_

_And have a little romance_

_I'm gonna find me_

_A pretty girl you'll see_

_Now that you've heard my reason_

_You know it's my season_

_I gonna have some fun_

_My rhyming rap is done!_"

* * *

Me: hope you enjoyed it and I've got a question for Yami here

Yami: panting after chasing shadow You huh do huh??

Me: Yup, what would happen if you put Seto Kaiba in a competely sealed room without any electronics??

Yami: I'd bet he'd go insane...Let's find out!!

Me: You'll just have to wait 'til next chapter to find out...

Yami: Which girl is Seto rapping about??

Me: Good question I don't know...maybe you'll find out in the next chapter!

Yami: Then get writtin' it!

Me: I have school work to ya know, anyway last comment is a thanx to Yu-Gi-Oh Nutter for being the first to review and I hope you like the secound chapy, okay bye...


	3. Insanity in Egypt

Note: sorry it's such a short chapter Yu-Gi-Oh! Nutter, It's all I could think of at the moment. Plus it's also just to introduce Marik, Malik, Odion, and Ishizu. Also as a side note I just added two new chapters to my other story Forbidden Sanctuary Parts I and II so check it out. And belware it is a horror story...well it's not THAT scary butcha know what?It'sMy horror story...Oh and Happy Reading. Oh almost forgot, thanks Yu-Gi-Oh Nutter and Jadu Skia for your reviews.They make me happy.

* * *

While on the chaos was going on in Japan, complete and utter pandemonium was going in Egypt… 

"Marik, stop eating sand, when I said to have a sandwich I meant from the cupboard." Odion sighed. He wished Marik was his normal honest, content self. And not be acting like a stupid fool. Finally Marik stopped eating the ground, and started running around the room after a tunneler rat. His eyes where wide and he was yelling,

"Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine." Odion shook his head at the sad sight of Marik, wondering what had caused the tomb keepers insanity. Suddenly Odion realized that Ishizu hadn't returned from the market. So he walked outside to see where she had gone and found her at the hatch about to come in.

"Lady Ishizu, the market is only a block away, what took you **10 hours** to get there and back?!?!?! Ishizu bowed her head and then replied in a oddly squeaky tone that wasn't her normal one. She had a slight lisp too.

"Well…you see Odion…the reason is…"

"Well, out with it already!" yelled a growingly impatient Odeon.

"Fine," huffed Ishizu. "The reason I was late was because I got caught in a traffic jam." Odion said,

"What…What are you talking about Lady Ishizu?!?! There are no cars between here and the market!?!?!" Ishizu had set down the groceries and was now tapping her index fingers together. She replied,

"Well, you see, there was this ant. And the ant, it moves very slowly because it's so small, see. And I didn't want to step on it, so I crawled behind it all the way to the market…" Suddenly Ishizu started crying, she continued, "Then when I reached the market I tried to get the ant to run out of the walk path so that no one would hurt him but…but then this old guy came over and stepped on poor defenseless Ra. He stepped on Ra just so he could get some fruit, killed an unarmed ant to get food. What is this world coming too?!?!?!" Ishizu finished while sobbing.

Odion raised an eyebrow, this was getting him nowhere. He sighed picked up the groceries and went inside, when a very disgruntled Ishizu following. When he reached the living room, he dropped the groceries in surprise. Marik had found Ishizu's make up and was busy putting on way too much. So much that he looked like a little girl in disguise as a boy. He was laughing moronically while singing;

"_I think I'm a clone now_

'_cause there's always two of me just a' hangin' around…_" In seemingly agreement Yami Marik (aka Malik) jumped out the stove and started to the Macarena to Marik's song in a grass skirt and tube top with bendy straws sticking out of every place imaginable. (except perverted places!!) Odion was in a mix of confusion between how Malik had returned, how Marik got Ishizu's make up, how Malik's big hair fit in the stove, and why Ishizu found the love of her life in an ant…that died. Suddenly Ishizu started singing,

"_Sing the Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy song,_

_Sing the Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy song…" _Malik joined her and Marik by singing,

"_Fly, fly,_

_you fat old guy_

_maybe left a crater_

_some day later_

_but now you're just a stale French fry_

_and you live in a dome_

_and caress your salami goodnight_

_dreamin' soon I'm gonna be a cow pie_

_soon I'm gonna be a cow pie…_" Odion was taken back by Malik's song and now had a really bad headache. He sighed, thinking that maybe the Pharaoh knew what was wrong with them. He turned to the insane trio who where now dancing around drunkenly and said,

"Pack your things; we're going to Japan…"


End file.
